Untitled 3

I came
down
from
heaven
and I
tickled
your
funny
button.
you screamed
I laughed
now how funny is that?

Evening

I’m sitting on four legs in the evening and I can’t stand it so I throw it out the window. I’m too old for this shit. There’s no private shame and there’s no private disgrace. I head outside. I find it on the sidewalk still together in one piece. A Greek design made of oak, nicely varnished, still doesn’t look too worn. Upright now, two legs, I can pick it up and bust it against the wall proper. It isn’t long before the police arrive and they ask me what I think I’m doing. I tell them how much I hate my father, that son-of-a-bitch, and how bad he used to beat me. I hate my father too, one says, and he shows me his scars. The other one doesn’t speak, he just pulls out his gun and shoots the chair. Now it has three legs.

"Good" Poetry

Dream tonight of peacock tails,
Diamond fields and spouter whales.
Ills are many, blessings few,
But dreams tonight will shelter you.

Let the vampire's creaking wing
Hide the stars while banshees sing;
Let the ghouls gorge all night long;
Dreams will keep you safe and strong.

Skeletons with poison teeth,
Risen from the world beneath,
Ogre, troll, and loup-garou,
Bloody wraith who looks like you,

Shadow on the window shade,
Harpies in a midnight raid,
Goblins seeking tender prey,
Dreams will chase them all away.

Dreams are like a magic cloak
Woven by the fairy folk,
Covering from top to toe,
Keeping you from winds and woe.

And should the Angel come this night
To fetch your soul away from light,
Cross yourself, and face the wall:
Dreams will help you not at all.


Someone please confirm or deny this poem's authorship to Thomas Pynchon.
I really need to know.

A Monologue

I don’t like anyone to watch me when I eat and neither do I like to watch anyone else eat too. No, I think it’s a rather private affair that should be kept to one’s self much like going to the restroom. Yes, the intake and the output of food (energy) is an extremely personal matter that should be kept to one’s self. Why? Well, have you ever watched yourself eat? No. No one thinks to eat in front of a mirror on purpose. Or have you ever watched another person eat? No. No one eats alone and no one gives the time to properly watch their accompaniment eat because they themselves are too busy eating. So I beg you to stop yourself the next time you plan a meal and think to watch your eating habits or to perhaps properly watch another person eat their food, and watch carefully as a scientist in a laboratory. Consider this sociological research.
Or, perhaps, don’t listen to me. Really, I wouldn’t wish this sort of curse on any one else. It’s terrible, I promise you, to fear the sort of disgust and horror I feel when I see others eat. And this is why I do not eat in public or with any other person present anymore. I would not wish my own distasteful eating habits upon any one else. Have you seen me eat? No, you couldn’t possibly have seen me eat. (And believe me, you should be glad that you haven’t)! But I am sure that since you are not yet so convinced about this shameful conviction of mine that I may still delineate what brought me to such a conclusion. But I promise you that by the time you finish reading my conviction (or, perhaps even before you finish!) you will feel the same way.

therapy

You should never go to them
Let them come to you
Just like I do
Just like I do

(over and over and over and over...)

Kathy

Come on, Kathleen
Come get out of your mind with me
Get out of your clothes with me
Get out your skin with me
Oh come, Kathleen

chain'd

Darling, you should know
that you never really glow
after we make love together.

And never will I lie again,
you have me on this ball and chain
even as you smile from the nether.